Throughout our Interpersonal Communication class I have learned a lot about my own modes of communication in that I tend to be very open with my interlocutors and I rarely give up an opportunity to self disclose about myself. I realized that I do this in order to better get my point across to whomever I am communicating with. I began with a posting in the Group Dynamics class where I found John Elder Robison interacting with the class openly. I came across a comment by Getouttakingshous in this posting, ”Communicating something makes it possible for your audience to feel the same feelings you feel about what you are trying to communicate. And in order to do this, it takes a lot of practice and dedication. I’ve always had a problem with mumbling. The only way I could get through it was by practicing speaking clearly. I know that when I mumble, it takes a lot of the “pep” out of my speeches, and may allow people to form an opinion of me that I am boring and dull.”
Getouttakingshous is open with his problem of mumbling during a speech therefore taking the “pep” out of his communication to others and how they in turn will receive the information. Kingshous said this because John Robison said “For me, there may not be a clear and strong connection between the stream of words I address to a person, and my overarching goal in the ongoing interaction with that person. Yes, while that response is happening, I still retain an anticipation; an overall goal for my dealing with the person. It’s just that the actual spoken words may not take me closer to the goal; indeed, they may take me farther away.”
John and Kingshous share with each other that even when speaking their goals can get farther away from them. Kings’ mumbling and John’s overall anticipation of what he wants to achieve in a conversation are similar because both aspects can obscure whatever point each is trying to make.
John wrote about trying to reach a desired outcome when communicating because Steph “nexted” in her “Why are You Writing Sideways blog entry.
Steph mused, “Robison’s tendency was to answer “with whatever I had been thinking.” This is not so different, in my mind, from people who simply say the first thing that comes to mind. Neither response involves any anticipation – there is no forward-in-time quality of considering how the thing one says might lead to a certain kind of outcome, be it as mundane as a polite social interaction or as intense as a long-term relationship. And then, even within the range of possible responses that one might choose among, hoping that they might lead to the outcome you want (or at least one that you dimly perceive or otherwise don’t outright dislike), you can still get it wrong.”
Steph did not know at the time she would be “nexting” to John Elder Robison about anticipation and reaching a goal when communicating because John was not involved in the class at the time “Why are we Writing Sideways” was posted. She in fact did end up “nexting” to spurn John to talk about how he reaches his desired outcomes in communication. The openness here is from John and Kingshous in order to better explain how they both try to achieve their communication “goals”. Kingshous being open by admitting that his mumbling during speeches can obscure his overall goal and John Elder Robison by being open about Asperger’s and the difficulties associated with trying to get closer to his “overarching goal” during communication he is having with someone else.
Sunshine775 sprouts this passage consequentially to John and Kingshous’ experiences in reaching desired outcomes when communicating. “I have had similar experiences as John-where I am giving a speech or talking in front of a class and I have a certain goal of what I want my audience to take away from what I am saying. Sometime I can ramble and what I say just falls out of my mouth. Sometimes I reach my goal and other times I may confuse my audience. This ties into “Eye Contact” when I say that everyone has different frames and ways of seeing a situation. When I start to engage in a conversation or speech I may say things that people in my audience may not understand or know how to make sense of it. I find it so much easier to sit down at my laptop and type out how I feel. I even find it easier than sitting down with my diary.”
Sunshine listened to what both John and Kingshous expressed about communication goals getting obscured by their own conversational “doings” (mumbling, anticipation) and responded by openly stating that he/she too has experienced this obscuring process through rambling during a speech. All three of these issues be it from someone who is Aspergian or not are good things to think about when one has a certain outcome in mind during any form of verbal communication. To attain a goal or desired outcome in communication is not a very easy thing to accomplish and many factors are in play both on the “exhaler’s” side as well as the “inhaler’s” side. Realizing what can obscure you attaining your desired outcome such as mumbling or rambling can better your chances of achieving said outcome. When the interlocutors are open it is much easier for each of them to understand the other more lucidly than without being open in their communication.
